Sunday, January 26, 2014

A Lost Piece of History

I have been so stir crazy being in the house all the time,
 so Kira, the girls and I went for a little drive, to all places PAUL, Idaho.
These buildings are on East Idaho Rd. off of Main Street.  I loved seeing these neat old buildings
 and look at the the amazing 
Mason sign and the Order of the Eastern Stars sign.
I wonder how old they are.

I do not know what this building was, but what potential!

And the old grange hall.
I remember when there were dances on Saturday 
and some of the churches meeting on Sunday in  grange halls.

I guess in a way it is really sad that these buildings have fallen into such ... do I say disrepair?
Maybe because they are on a side road.
Maybe it is because old things don't matter anymore..
but it was really neat to see these lost pieces of history.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

More Positive Time

I love this picture...
Everything about it makes me feel secure.

I have wanted to make a real conscious effort to make sure Kirk KNOWS how much I love him.
How grateful I am for him and everything that he does for me and our family. 

January started with HELPING reinforcing this effort.
Kirk had done something to his knee... he isn't sure even when or what but he was having a hard time getting around. 
And let me tell you something about my husband... HE DOES NOT JUST SIT AROUND... the man does not know how to relax and just ... relax. It doesn't matter if it is a day off or if he just got done with a 
10+ hour day at work, he is doing something.
This is how I knew his knee was hurting because he would try to go go go but,
was spending more time with ice on his knee than not.
ANYWAY... back to the knee.
He and his doctor picked Monday, January 13th to do the surgery.

BUT, not to be out done, I decided to get sick on Friday the January 10th with pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital.
Crazy I know.

Monday, the 13th, Kira arrived at the hospital with her dad to play babysitter to her parents.
She went and stayed with Kirk until they took him back to surgery.

They even let her see pictures of the tear and repair on his knee.
While they were in there they found that he had a fracture on his tibia so they fixed it also. 

4 hours later... Kirk was awake and on his way home.
I am glad that Kira is such a photo journalist... she is awesome at taking pictures and I love her 

I did get to stay in the hospital for a few more days
 and when I did get to come home 
I had this little buddy to hang out with each day for a BIG dose of antibiotics.

I am so glad  that I have been "trained" to administer my own I.V.'s so I do not have to make a trip to the hospital for the 30 mins of IV therapy. 

Now, Kirk and I are hanging out at the house, watching tv, reading, talking and 
Habit is being formed
Hanging out together...
and I am conscious to tell him I love him and to hold his hand, to find quiet moments and all those things that after 30+ years together you sometimes forget you still need to do.
Because, I do.
I NEED HIM TO KNOW just how much I truly love him.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Chicken Enchiladas

While on my writing hiatus I became a Pintrest Follower  Obsessed  "Visitor".
This week, I knew I was feeling a little better when I wanted to cook... anything... my taste buds are still a little off so I knew I didn't want something really spicy. 
I found this recipe and HAD to try it...

I didn't want to loose the recipe...even though I had already "pinned" it. I thought I would share it with all of you. 
I always have to "play" with recipes because well, that is the way I am and I usually do not have EVERYTHING that some recipes may call for. I will just put in parentheses what I did different.

Chicken Enchiladas
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Yield: 8 enchiladas

Chicken and veggie enchiladas baked in a light green sauce.
3 cups cooked, shredded chicken
1 can black beans (15 oz.) ( I didn't have any)
1 can corn (15 oz.)
2 cans diced tomatoes with green chilies (10 oz. each) (Rotel)
1/2 cup taco sauce
4 cups chicken broth, divided
1/2 cup packed cilantro (I used dried flakes)
1/2 cup greek yogurt (I used sour cream)
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon pepper
3 Tablespoons flour
1/4 cup butter
8 burrito sized tortillas
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
  1. Combine the chicken, beans, corn, tomatoes, and taco sauce. Salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.
  2. Add 2 cups chicken broth, cilantro, yogurt, cumin, and pepper to a blender. Blend until smooth. Heat the butter in a skillet until melted. Stir in the flour and cook 1 minute. Slowly stir in the other 2 cups of broth until creamy. Add to the mixture in the blender.
  3. Lay out all your tortillas. Divide the chicken mixture onto each tortilla. Roll up and place seam side down in a greased 9x13 pan. Cover the enchiladas with the green sauce. Top with cheese. Bake at 350* uncovered for 30-35 minutes. Serves 6-8.
Recipe has been adapted from one found in The Living Room Series: Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy

Even with all of my adaptations it really was a hit here.
And with a few little changes it could be made Gluten free if needed.
Let me know if you try it and what you think.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

She Makes Me Happy...


I have someone very special to introduce to you....

This is Lilia G.
She was born July 16, 2013
She is the daughter of Sergio and Kira and the little sister of Miss H
and she is my 4th granddaughter.
I will give you a quick photo update on her because well she is already 6 months old!!!

and she has a crazy tongue!

and she makes me happy!

I Am Back

I was going to name my post…
“An Apology With An Epiphany”
But then I saw this...

And I realized I really needed to be real and say what I have been thinking and feeling for over a year. With the different thoughts that had been going through my mind… To the point that depression was taking over my personality, emotions and family ties. I haven’t been comfortable just setting down and writing… not on my blog, not in my journal, not even my travel journal. None of these things have been updated or written in... well, almost 18 months.

I enjoyed blogging when I first started. I have met really neat blogging friends and yet I have found myself shutting myself off from my family, my real life friends and my blogger friends. How was I shutting them out... not talking about things that were on my mind and in my heart. I thought I was an 'open' person and so maybe that is why not being able to express myself has been so difficult.

I want to start blogging again and more importantly writing in my journals, so I need to just say what has been stopping me from writing and get it out…
by Greg Olsen
I know I am not the greatest mom in the world, but I have always felt I have taught my children right from wrong and about the atonement. I somehow thought all of my children would be strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ and strive to live the principles that they were taught.  I did teach by example and that is “you get to choose what you want to do. You will have to deal with the consequences good or bad.” That feeling was the start of my downward twisting fall.  As I found that my son was taking on habits that I knew in our family of highly addictive personalities could be deadly. I was angry at myself for not being more aware. Though I have not accepted some of the choices he has made I have come to understand a “Mother’s Love” in a way that I didn’t before… maybe even a Christ-like love.  My love for him has not changed, it is as deep as ever before. He is my miracle and I know that our Father in heaven has him on the earth for something special. I also know that Satan knows that he has something amazing to do on this earth too.
That is me in the middle with the cowboy boots

Who’s your grandma?
I was quite old when I found out that my Grandma Williams was not my “real” grandma. But, in my heart and mind she has always been my grandma and always will. My mom called Grandma Williams “Mamma” and it wasn’t until after we had moved to Spokane that I remember my mom starting to call her, Aunt Myrtle.  My mom’s birth mother died when she was very young. Her father took off and left the kids alone. My maternal grandmother’s name was Hazel Christine Williams Berryhill, she was the sister of Grandma Williams’ husband Lowell. When Hazel Christine passed away my mom’s uncle Lowell sent money for bus tickets so the children could come to Arizona from Texas. It was not an easy process because they had to prove the children had been abandoned. (or at least that is the way I understand the story) When my mom and her two brothers arrived in Arizona they were accepted in by the Williams family as if they were their own children. Grandpa Lowell died of a heart attack a few years later. Still grandma Williams kept all the children together and raised them as siblings.
After my mom passed away and we found out that grandma Williams had breast cancer. I visited with grandma on the phone and asked what she thought of me having my mom sealed to her and Grandpa Williams. She was so wonderful and I still can hear her voice in my mind as she said that “Geneva has always been my daughter and I would love for her to be sealed to us.”  We talked about me coming to Arizona and going to the temple with her to do this temple ordinance. Before I could go to Arizona I found out that my mom’s sister had sealed my mom to her biological parents James Willis Berryhill and Hazel Christine Williams Berryhill. I was devastated. But, I have tried to accept that event and to learn more about my biological grandmother and grandfather.

After Grandma passed away we started hearing more and more from some of the aunts that mom was a cousin…not a sister…I cannot put into words how painful that has been for me. Where they afraid that we wanted something???  Anyway the first part of July 2012 when I went to the “Williams” family reunion again as we honored MY grandma, it was stated again who she was “mamma” to and who she was the “aunt” to.  I was grateful to a couple of my “cousins” who quickly came to me and said you have always been my cousin and you will always be my cousin. My aunt Patsy even changed the poster stating who were the “real” children and those that came to live with them. She made the comment that she was the oldest and “she never wanted to hear of this family segregation again”. I appreciated that so much. But, in away the damage was done.  I have always addressed these wonderful ladies as my aunts…I am struggling. I am hurt and it has become a weight around my heart.

Donor Pain
          While at the reunion I loved visiting with my “aunt” Judy about our heart transplants. But, it got me wondering why I do not know anything about my donor. My aunt is 10 years post and has never written her gratitude letter. I told her she needed to do that. I felt it is important to the donor family to know how grateful we are to still have her in our lives. She knows so many things about her donor and I know nothing…again I felt alone with questions that nobody wants to answer.

          My dad had complete knee replacement on July 24, 2013. Again, I worried about him because of his health and his stubborn personality. He doesn’t like to listen to doctors or anyone else…it has always been one way, his way. I am grateful that he has healed as well as he has, and yet in the back of my mind I wonder how long he will be here.
Reku now goes by the name Toby and is spoiled rotten
For 2 years I have heard nothing but how much Kirk hates Reku and if he could take him out “for a ride” it would make his day. After Itsey died, Reku was my little comforter. But, at this emotional down fall, I could not hear it anymore. It was a comment made several times a week if not daily. A dear friend’s in-laws Chihuahua had died a year or so ago. I asked if she thought they might like to have Reku. I did not say anything to anyone…no time to remind me how much I liked him or the grand babies and no time for me to talk myself out of it. I took Reku over to my friends to meet the in-laws, I left so that they could see if they liked my retarded little dog. I went to get groceries and called when I was done to see what they thought. My friends said they really liked him and they had taken him home. I was like…”what?? I didn’t bring any of his things with me when I came for them to meet him…and even I had not got to tell him bye. I have called to check to see how he is doing, and I have been told he is doing great and has really grown attached to the grandma. I am so grateful. I miss the little retarded dog. The first night Hazel walked around the house calling for him it about killed me. Just a couple of days later Celes realized she could not find him anywhere. She had a total meltdown…it sent me spiraling down again.

Baby Evie...
Our sweet Evie, she gave all of us a scare. Before arriving to her earthly home she had a habit of not wanting to be "involved" with the living part. And again I found myself detaching from something that could hurt me. What if this little girl didn't make it... what if... stupid... I know...but I did it. Who would think that our little one year old who can now run circles around all of us would have been such a worry.  I love her sweet personality and am so grateful she is part of our family.

Have I mentioned how much I love my daughter Kira. I love her so much.
While I was going through my pitty party... Kira was going through a real trial...

I am going to just link you to her blog and let you read her words as what she was going through... "trying to have a baby."
I was always worry if Sergio is happy here. I am sure that he misses his family. I truly appreciate the sacrifice that he and his family make so that his little family lives in the States.

and yes, there are  were other things dragging me from just writing.

Does Kirk know I love him.
The house is  out of control
Not feeling like I have a calling
Money..keeping track
Keeping up

But those things are now in writing...on paper... out of my dreams and nightmares...
I have said it out loud.
I feel a sense of freedom... of peace... of a clear mind...
And I have so much to share....
WHERE IS MY JOURNAL AND PEN... let 2014 begin.

Monday, June 24, 2013

One of These IS NOT Like the Others

I would like for you to look closely at these 5 family members...
Can you see any resemblances? How about differences?

Ok... if you are not sure... You may say my sister is different from the rest of us.....
Yes, she has a house full of kidlets, but so does my brother Ro.
Yes, Morris and I have grown kids.
Yes, my dad and I have grandkids.

If you still do not know where I am going with this, do not feel alone.
But, I want to share a true and very unfortunate story with you.

As I have bragged, smiled and shared that I was able to go to Arizona for LaLa's baptism.
Again, it was wonderful!
But, being around many, many strangers...
on several occasions (to many to count)
I was asked, "Is this your daughter?" or "Is that your mom?"
This would be all good and fine expect they were not asking LaLa...or even Miss Roo...
Really world... I am barely 7 years older than her.
I admit she looks much younger than I do.
and she has 5 kids still trailing behind her, where I have my 3 grand babies. 
I could get over the fact that one of us married young and the other married not as young.
It is all good, right.

Until on my flight home from AZ.

This cute little 18 or something was setting next to me and I thought at first it was her older sister or friend with her....Later in the flight as the conversations went on I realized that it was her mother.

I made the comment, "I thought at first you were flying with you sister."
This "sweet" little things says...." DO I LOOK THAT OLD??" I responded quickly, "Oh no, your mom just looks that young." Which she quickly replied, "She is 51 years old!"
at which I answered...Really, "SO AM I."
Then the  little ..... responded with a NO WAY!!!
I though you were much OL..................
It was a good thing that we were getting ready to land
 and that we were not on the emergency exit seat row...
Just saying.

I have gone a couple of years or so without coloring my hair...
mostly because I am lazy.
And I kept telling myself, the white "high lights" didn't age me that much.

But, I believe now that they must not only make me look older but not as healthy.
The day after I got back home I colored my hair.
It is still light but not white.

I have been so surprised by all the people at home... 
They can tell there is a difference, but can not put a finger on it.
But, I LOVE their comments:
"You look so good."
"That trip must have been just what you were needing."
"You look like you have got a lot of needed rest"...
Should have done this a couple of years ago.

And the answer to the question is...
Which one of these is not like the other??
Well, do you REALLY think that is 'LENE's hair color??

Saturday, June 15, 2013

30 years!

I am not real sure how it has happen...
But, one of my babies turned 
30 years old today!

I can not express in words how much I love this boy man.
He can be serious but usually he is showing his true personality.

He is such a good example to everyone that comes into contact with him.
I believe he is a good husband and father.

He has shared his love of books with his girls.

and teaching them that he will always be there for them.
Even if they are having a rough night.

Josh, I love you.
You are truly one of the chosen sons of our Father in heaven.
I am humbled and honored that He has shared you with me.
Love you,