Tuesday, October 9, 2012

What I Have To Do To Heal

Sometimes you have to talk about something to start healing.

If you read my blog you know that my little Itsey died in February.
I still miss her.

Her puppy Reku  was born a little "special". 
He has always had a problem with long term memory and he has terrible anxiety issues. 
 Kirk was never very fond of Reku and from the time Itsey died Kirk kept telling me it was time to get rid of him, he didn't want anymore inside dogs.

I said something to my kids about it and they were like, you can't do that. 
You love Reku he is your buddy.
The grand babies love him.
The list went on and they were correct.

So, I just ignored Kirk's comments.
In August I couldn't take it anymore.
I knew I couldn't just give him to ANYBODY.
It had to be someone who would love him even with his silly quirks.

A very good friend of mine and told me that her in-laws had lost their little dog a year or so ago.
I called her and asked if they would still like a dog, and a "special needs" dog at that.

She said to bring him over and introduce him to them.
Without saying anything to my family I took Reku for a ride to meet some really nice people.

I knew Reku would not go to anyone else if I was still there.
So, I went to run a couple of errands. I had only been gone a few minutes when I got a call telling me that he was 'freaking out'. I was on my way back to get him when I received this picture...
and the message... "He likes him"
and that he was ok.
I finished running my errands and returned to pick Reku up.

His new family had already taken him home.
WHAT!!??? I didn't get to say bye!

When I got home Kirk came out and asked what was going on?
I just looked at him with tears running down my face and told him I hated him.

The next few days were horrible.
Miss H would set and call for Reku.
Miss C would run around looking for her and getting mad at me because I would not find him.
My family didn't want to talk to me because I had not let them say, "bye".

I know it was what I needed to do.
It has taken me a little while to adjust.
But, it is good.
I am ok.
I love Kirk and sometimes we have to really weigh both sides of things to keep communications strong in our marriage. I know it has meant a lot to Kirk to know that his feelings and opinion mattered to me. I know it will sound strange, but it really did help Kirk and my marriage and that my friends is worth it.

I am really grateful to a really nice couple for taking Reku and giving him a good home with lots of love and attention.
I get reports of how well he is doing. Does the heart good!


Saimi said...

Oh Janice what a tender post! I could only imagine how that must have felt giving up your dog but what a comfort knowing he went to a loving home as well as making the sacrifice for your husband!

Your a wonderful lady!

Lene said...

I'm glad Reku is in a home that appreciates his "special" qualities.