Friday, May 6, 2011

WAMMO, MAMMO

If you are over 40 years old and these pictures don't make your skin crawl
 and your stomach feel like it is turning inside out, then read on...
Sorry the pictures are not to clear, they are taken on my phone.

phone pictue

The Mammogram By Julia Napier©
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K." I said, 'let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
TO FINISH THE POEM GO HERE TO MY LAST MAMO.

Last year after my Mammogram, I was bruised and hurt SOOOOO bad.
So, when I  was "reminded" that it was time for my yearly mammo.
I wanted to cry...
But, I did what I knew I needed to do...
I made my appointment... and arrived at our local hospital.
After I changed into my little cape... I looked at the tourcher vice in the room with me.
The machine had a pretty pink pad on it...my first thought was,
"WOW.... even the MAMMO machine is wearing pink."

I was impressed with my tech, she did a great job of helping the "process" go quickly, and I have to admit almost painless.
When she  was done she asked, "if I noticed the Mammo not hurting as much as other times."
I told her, "yes, SHE  had done a great job, even when she was twisting the little knobs to cinch it tight".
SHE proceeded to tell me that each women who comes in for a Mammo
gets their own little pink pad put on the machine,
it was to make the machine not as cold and hopefully a little less painful.
IT DID...
so, when you get your next Mammogram I would strongly suggest you ask if they have
 "Softer mammogram" pink pads on their machines...OR KEEP LOOKING!
Cassia Regional does, and if  they do...
Well, you know, if they do you will find them almost anywhere  :O)

Ok, I don't think I would wear this...but it is cute non the less.
When did you have your last MAMMO?
If you are 40 or older PLEASE get your appointment made ASAP.

2 comments:

Lene said...

bwahahahaha

I am going to be nice and not make any comments about your boobies...or lack there of.

Janiece said...

hahahhaaaaa...wheez...